light morning dark thoughts

A good night’s sleep can only be summed up in one word...bliss! I don’t know if it was the ghostly presence of one of the spirits we have milling around us (we have apparently three according to my husband), or Lola’s gentle purr thought the night, but I slept like a log. No strange or eerie dreams plagued my nocturnal hours either. This is going in the right direction.

The last hour has been spent trailing through the news. I’m very much a person of rhythm. I do things in a certain order, to create order and structure to a more and more un-orderly world around me. On Sundays I read Aftonbladet, Expressen and DN (three Swedish newspapers) followed the British tabloid News of the World. It’s an interesting sequence as DN is (seen as) a liberal, centre right newspaper, with well balanced journalism. News of the World couldn’t be more further away. Whilst DN will be publishing non-controversial debate articles, News of The World will cater for the masses. There is hardly an ounce of political or worldly news (which is a paradox giving its name). Instead kiss-and-tell stories are making front page along with articles on human deprivation.

Reinout’s CEO, Simon, who was on a lengthy skype call this morning, was rolling his eyes in mock horror at the fact I was reading the News of the World. I must have shattered his illusions of the classy girl from Sweden that enjoys soirees, interior design and history in equal measures. But there is a dark side to my light and seemingly happy nature. The dark side delves deep into human misery, deprivation and despair. Not to mock, but to understand and explore...often my own darker feelings and thoughts. I kept those little hobbies to myself for a long time, only being drawn out by the equally disposed. It takes one to know one. The dark siders are all among us and we sense each other. We seek each other out, but don’t necessarily interact. We know of each other, but often we like to keep it that way......on a safe distance. So we are left lonely, with our dark thoughts obscured by our perfect lives.

I can't help but wonder, do I live with a dark sided person? I think I do. It flairs up from time to time, in looks and expressions. And sometimes in a certain raw, yet controlled, energy. I believe we all have it within us. The only difference being how we chose to act upon it.